Stop Being Angry, Change Your Mindset and Focus on the Positive by Roxana Soetebeer, MPHC, NNP, MHP, PFC
Stop Being Angry, Change Your Mindset and Focus on the Positive
I spent years being angry. Angry at the doctors who kept throwing medications at the symptoms while ignoring the root cause. Angry at the nutritionists who told me to eat ‘everything in moderation.’ Angry for the irreversible damage they caused. And angry at myself for never questioning the process.
I followed the advice. I did what I was told. I avoided fat, I counted calories, I took the prescriptions. I kept going to appointments. And I got sicker. Heavier. More exhausted. More frustrated.
And I know I’m not alone.
Most of the people I work with have the same story. You play by the rules. You do everything they say. And it still ends with medication, weight gain, blood sugar problems, joint pain, fatigue.
It’s not your fault. But it is your problem.
It took me years to understand: staying stuck in that anger doesn’t fix anything. It keeps you sick. It keeps you powerless. It keeps you exactly where they left you.
That’s where mindset comes in. And this isn’t some kind of cliché. This is survival. It’s about what you do when the system fails you.
There’s a reason this is hard. It’s not because you’re weak or lazy. It’s how our brains are wired.
Humans hate change. We always have. Think back thousands of years. The caveman who got curious and ate the wrong berry? Dead. The woman who saw patterns in the stars, who spoke ideas the tribe couldn’t understand? She was a witch, burned at the stake. The healer who challenged the village elder? Cast out and alone, which, back then, meant certain death.
People who challenged the consensus lived in fear. Galileo wrapped his work in careful language. Copernicus delayed publishing for decades. Darwin stayed quiet for years. Some, like Bruno and Hypatia, paid with their lives for seeing the world differently.
Our nervous system remembers that. It treats change like danger. Like exile. Like death.
And even today, most people hate the ones who try to change everything.
So when you question your diet, your doctors, and your habits, your brain screams at you to stop. It would rather you stay miserable and safe than risk being different and free. Why? Because the familiar feels safe. And the unknown? That has the potential to make everything worse.
You tried normal. You did what the tribe does. You ate what they eat. You lived how they live.
And look where that got us.
Most people are not doing great. 93% of the population is metabolically unwell. More people are overweight or obese than of a healthy weight. This is not normal.
Change feels uncomfortable. But sticking with ‘normal’ is what’s killing us.
Do you want to change? Change what you control. Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that teaches self-control, resilience, and focusing only on what you can influence, while accepting what you cannot.
You can’t control your past. You can’t control what happened to your body. You can’t even control what thoughts pop into your head half the time. If I tell you right now not to picture a bright pink elephant floating across the sky, guess what your brain just did? Exactly.
Thoughts are automatic. Feelings? Those you can shape. Actions? That’s where your power is.
Stoicism isn’t about pretending you don’t care. It’s about deciding what deserves your energy.
The system failed you. That happened. It's done. Learn from the past, but don't wallow in it.
Check out this book for more information: The Daily Stoic - 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday.
It’s easy to stay angry. Easy to sit in the hurt. But it's also an easy excuse to avoid taking responsibility.
Victimhood feels safe. It feels righteous. But it keeps you stuck.
If you believe you’re powerless, you’ll never take the first step toward change. You’ll wait for someone else to fix it. For better doctors. For better prescriptions. For a miracle.
But no one is coming. Healing starts the moment you decide you are responsible for your outcome, even if you didn’t create the problem.
You might not control your cravings. Addiction hijacks that part of you. You might not control your energy levels. Chronic illness drains that too. You might not control your blood sugar minute to minute. The damage runs deep.
But you still have choices. They won’t always feel easy. Sometimes they won’t feel possible. But they’re there. And every time you make the better choice, even when it feels impossible, you will improve your health. That’s where your power is.
With momentum comes confidence. And with confidence, change gets easier. Not because the fear goes away. But because you learn to do it anyway.
The damage wasn’t done overnight. The healing won’t be either.
The modern world sells quick fixes. It’s a lie. You didn’t develop diabetes or autoimmune disease in six weeks. You won’t reverse it in six weeks either. But every day you take responsibility, every day you choose action over anger, you get stronger and healthier. You take your power back.
It starts when you stop waiting for the system to save you.
Stop being angry and start building something better.
Not for them. For you.
Eat like it matters.
—Coach Roxana
Written by Roxana Soetebeer, MPHC, NNP, MHP, PFC
Published June 28th, 2025
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